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Every one of them condemned himself because I was his dream girl. I'm irresistible - just like I was with you. I don't get older. I don't get ugly. Hell, I don't even get hungry or thirsty. I can't die - all I can do is lead souls to hell.Think about this one last thing. You spent the last few months fucking a girl who was really a guy. Delicious irony, isn't it? Especially with your church group's overly zealous hatred of homosexuals You fucked a guy! I can tell that fact is tearing at your very soul!What you don't realize is that you're already dead. Yes, dead! You didn't even realize you did it while we were talking, because I've been distracting your soul. But while we've been talking - kind of like ghosts - your body went out and in a fit of enraged jealousy and despair and guilt, drove your car off a bridge. You're dead now. Just like me.Of course you can still feel! Torment wouldn't be worth a damn if you couldn't feel it! But ... Oh, wait! This is going. As I sped across the roadway I lifted my legs higher to clear the rise of the curb and began to stumble. I let myself go into a roll into the grass beyond the road and flopped into my back. I lay there flat, panting crazily.Shit, I thought. I'm wiped out. Getting lazy again. Getting angry, flustered.It took several minutes for me to feel rested again. Along the nearby road the cyclers and joggers passed me. I gazed at the sky. It was clear beyond the limbs of the surrounding trees. Blue. I recalled the day, long ago, when I was a toddler, when I lay that way on the side of a small hill near the Big Buildings in the Lauderdale Courts, looking up at that sky and thinking that the world was an open, unlimited space, waiting for me, beckoning, promising. I remembered telling myself, then, that I would do anything, face any task to see it all, do it all. I hadn't figured on weak ankles and short wind. And the cigarettes. Why the hell didn't I just quit?I told myself: Get up, you sorry.
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